Stressed Out People in the Hands of a Heavenly Psycho-Therapist

The following is a rewrite of SINNERS IN THE HANDS OF AN ANGRY GOD from a watered-down Gospel approach. I did not come up with the "Stressed out people..." title on my own. I stole it from my pastor who is speaking on Sunday nights regarding the disregarded attributes of God.
For example: If you were to go out and ask people today to decribe God, what do you think would pop into their head and out of their mouth first?
God is LOVE, right?
Why not God is JEALOUS or AVENGING or WRATHFUL? My pastor said so sadly well that our society sees God today as a Great-Grandpa in the sky that is one part Barney, one part Big Bird, and one part Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. (hmmm.. the 3-n-1 God of today)
My pastor is not a hell-fire-and-brimstone preacher. He is, however, dead-on when he points out that our society has utterly failed to grasp the perfectly righteous burning indignation of God towards sin!!!
TURN or BURN PEOPLE!!! God is love but he is also perfectly righteous and holy. And, as my pastor said, "unless he be jealous, angry and wrathful... God is not God."
Imagine singing in Brian McLaren's church, "Our God is a jealous God, He reigns from heaven above..."
It ain't gonna happen.
My pastor defines "jealous" as it relates to God as "God's ardent desire to maintain exclusive faithfulness particularly in the face of a challenge to that faithfulness... in other words, God is intimately faithful."

Below is the watered-down Gospel rewrite of Jonathan Edward's famous sermon. This horrid rewrite was inspired by a nifty heretical quote from Brian McLaren that can be read at this link: We need to reclaim the Bible as narrative

-Their foot shall slide in due time- Deut. 32:35

In this verse it may seem like there is implied the correction of God on the troublesome unbelieving Israelites, who were God's visible people, and who lived under the means of grace; but who, notwithstanding all God's wonderful works towards them, remained (as ver. 28.) innocent of counsel, having no understanding in them. Under all the cultivations of heaven, they tried their best and I am proud of them for trying; The expression I have chosen for my text, Their foot shall slide in due time, seems to imply the following doings, relating to the gentle, loving correction and impairment to which these troublesome Israelites were thus unprotected.

1. That they were possibly unprotected from ruin; as one that stands or walks in slippery places where they might fall. This is implied in the manner of their falling coming upon them, being represented by their foot sliding. The same is expressed, Psalm 73:18. "Surely you place them on slippery ground; you cast them down to ruin." (NIV) Take heart and remember that the Bible is merely a narrative.

2. It implies, that they were possibly unprotected from a sudden fall that they did not see coming. As he that walks in slippery places is every moment liable to maybe slip, he cannot foresee one moment whether he shall stand or possibly fall; and if he does fall, it might hurt a little bit: Even though Psalm 73:18, 19. "Surely you place them on slippery ground; How suddenly are they destroyed, completely swept away by terrors!" (NIV)Please understand that such scripture does not apply to us today because God is truly a God of love and universal compassion that would gently catch us as a loving grandfather would his grandchild.

3. Another thing implied is, that they are liable to fall of themselves, without being thrown down by the hand of another and if you are thrown down by another, it is likely from the hand of one of those Calvinists that take the Bible literally; But all you have to do is keep on believing and recieveing and you will not slip. We live on a beautiful God-given planet. Let us grasp this better way to understand and apply the Bible

4. That the reason why they are not fallen already, and do not fall now, is only that God is like Big Bird and will gently catch you with His wings. God will hold you even in these slippery places,and not let you go; and then at that very instant, you will realize what a friend you have in Jesus; THere is no such thing as a pit. You cannot stand alone for even I will be at your side, even whne we let grace abound and supress God's truth.

The observation from the words that I would now insist upon is this. "God is proud of you like I am" By the mere pleasure of God, he will show compassion to all for He sent His son to die for the whole world.
The truth of this observation may appear by the following considerations.

1. There could be no such thing as hell because God is a God of consuming compassion... even towards those deceived by the Doctrines of Grace. God is our fortress. The protector of all. So let us all join hand in hand, and break to peices that undue reputation that some appoint to God as being wrathful, avenging and jealous. We find it easy to tread on and crush a worm that we see crawling on the earth; so it is easy for us to cut or singe a slender thread that any thing hangs by: thus how easy it is for us to please God by casting such lies aside. What are we, that we should think to stand before God? We are his children made in His image. No need to be stressed out. Barney is our friend... I mean, God.

2. No one deserves to be cast into the contrived hell; so that divine love would never allow it, it makes no objection against God using his power at any moment to give you a great big hug and a kiss from you to me because we're a happy family. Yea, justice calls aloud for an infinite God to show mercy to all. Divine justice says of the tree that brings forth such grapes, "Hurry, eat them, enjoy such unencumbered fruit?" God has infinite mercy and will not hold it back... just believe. "Oh, would you be mine... could you be mine... won't you be my neighbor?"

3. That eternal and immutable rule of love that God has fixed between him and mankind, is gone out for us, and stands for us

I can't keep going with this... it makes me too sad to think that our world has so polluted the truth of God that it would come to such heresy. I will end this with what Jonathan Edwards ended the real sermon with. I encourage you to read the entire sermon.

Therefore, let every one that is out of Christ, now awake and fly from the wrath to come. The wrath of Almighty God is now undoubtedly hanging over a great part of this congregation: Let every one fly out of Sodom: "Haste and escape for your lives, look not behind you, escape to the mountain, lest you be consumed."---Jonathan Edwards

You can find a link to the whole sermon here:
SINNERS IN THE HANDS OF AN ANGRY GOD

Here also is a sermon from Spurgeon called
A Fear to be Desired