Above is a pic of my youngest daughter and me.
My Husband, My brother in Christ
"I Can't Hear You, Mom."
(This is based on a magazine article I wrote for a homeschool magazine.)
I knew there was something not right about my son. He seemed to hear me... most of the time.
We put him in a public school for kindergarten. They did hearing tests and he passed... so it couldn't be his hearing, right? They put him in the A.D.D. category, but he was not a hyper child. He seemed to want to learn so badly. He could sit still and it appeared that he was concentrating very hard. Something wasn't right.
We moved and had to put him in a private school for 1st grade.
Within a couple of weeks the teacher pulled me aside and said, "He is pronouncing his consonants like a deaf child. And he is behind. You need to get his hearing checked."
I told her that his hearing was checked at the public school and he passed.
She said, "The public school system does not have the equipment to check the kind of hearing loss I think he has. Kids like your son are often overlooked in the public schools and labeled A.D.D., when in fact they can't hear. He is obviously not profoundly deaf. But he does have hearing loss."
So we went. I sat there and watched him. He was a shy, sweet boy. As I watched him take the hearing test I could see him not respond to the sounds that I could hear. I tried not to cry. I didn't want him to see me burst into tears. In a sense it was a relief to finally know. But it was difficult.
They said, "Your son has moderate high frequency hearing loss. He cannot hear at all when he is in a room full of people or a room with alot of background noise. He needs hearing aides in the classroom."
I felt like I had been hit in the head with a baseball bat.
Why?
Because after the public school system told me that he did not have hearing problems, but behaviour problems, there were times we would ground him because we thought he was being deliberately disobedient... when in fact he really could not hear us.
I do not think my son knew how to express what was wrong. I don't think he really realized that he couldn't hear like the other kids. My husband was in medical school at the time so this was especially hard for him. My husband then aproached me about homeschooling him. Even the teacher that told us to get his hearing checked told me to homeschool him for the semester to get him caught up and then bring him back...
I honestly thought they were crazy. Why would anyone want to homeschool when there are schools? I was very active in their schools. I really had no exposure to homeschooling. It seemed... odd. Needless to say, we brought him home to get him caught up while we kept his older brother in school.
... thinking it was temporary.
... thinking that I was not equipped to do this long-term.
I will write more on this later. I am headed out for a field trip with my 6 children... that I homeschool.
Continued here: "Mom, You're Talking Too Loud."
Comments
Wow! That's about all I can say. There have been times I've disciplined our son only to find out he wasn't at fault. He has such a sweet spirit that he doesn't fight or argue.
Looking forward to the rest.
Posted by: Mike Young | June 29, 2006 08:32 AM
How is your son doing now, Lisa? Did he end up getting hearing aids? Have they helped him? Did you live in OK when he was diagnosed with hearing loss? They passed a law right after we adopted Vanya and Irina that private insurance companies were required to provide hearing aids for children under a certain age. We were able to get Irina an aid that way. (We knew she was deaf when we adopted her, but we had no details on it.)
We later began to suspect hearing loss in Vanya and took him to be tested. He, too, had a significant hearing loss called a "cookie bite" loss. No one in Russia ever realized that he was not hearing well, so he was considered stupid and stuck in the back corner of the classrooms. It was no wonder that he had few language skills when we adopted him at the age of 8.
You are so right about your son never knowing any different. It was "normal" for him and I am sure he did not realize others were different in that respect.
I can tell you a couple of funny stories related to hearing loss if you are interested. ;-)
Blessings
Sheshe
Posted by: sheshe | June 29, 2006 06:59 PM
"I don't think he really realized that he couldn't hear like the other kids."
I got glasses when I was in 6th grade. Until then, I assumed everyone saw things how I saw them. I remember so clearly being amazed at how I could see every-single-leaf on a tree when I was sitting in the school bus.
". . .there were times we would ground him because we thought he was being deliberately disobedient... when in fact he really could not hear us."
Things like this remind me that although God has given us responsibility for our children and wisdom and direction from the Bible--He has not given us His omniscience. We do what we believe is best for our children, what we believe is right for our children--but we do err and sometimes even sin against them in our ignorance. That keeps me humble, lemme tell ya.
Posted by: TulipGirl | June 29, 2006 06:59 PM
*yawn*
I just got back from being gone with the kids all day. Thank you for commenting. I'll respond to what you guys have said tomorrow.
(WE HAD SOOOOO MUCH FUN!!!)
Posted by: 4ever4given | June 29, 2006 10:17 PM
Oh... and PLEASE share the funny stories!!!
Posted by: 4ever4given | June 29, 2006 10:18 PM
Well, they may be of the "you had to be there" genre, but I will share them anyway.
Irina has no hearing at all in one ear and a moderate to severe hearing loss in the other, so only one ear can be aided. Her hearing aid in Russia was marginally helpful and we had to leave it there for them to use with other children when we adopted her. Of course once we arrived in the US we began the process of getting her a new one, with all of the bells and whistles that she never had in Russia. At her first fitting for it, she needed to take a potty break so I walked down the hall with her. So consider this - going from hardly having any hearing at all your entire life to suddenly having a conversational level of hearing in one ear. Then imagine flushing a toilet... Irina came running out of that bathroom with the widest eyes!! It was something she had never heard in her life and it was quite scary for her, I imagine. It took her a good long while to get used to that noise. She would flush a toilet and then hurry away as fast as she could so as to not hear it. :-)
Vanya had an interesting time when he was fitted with his hearing aids, too. Since he has enough hearing to be aided in both ears he got two of them. The first time he put them on he had the oddest look on his face, though. I asked him if they helped - if he could hear better. He said, in a puzzled sort of way, "Well, I think so but there is a loud noise like a fan in my ears." Ha!! We looked around and sure enough there was an air conditioning vent right above his head! He had never heard what would be little background noises to us and he thought something was wrong with the hearing aids because of the fan sound.
So, these stories are indeed similar to what happens when a child puts on glasses for the first time and sees things in a whole different light. I remember when we lived in the woods and Trey got new glasses. He could finally see the deer outside our windows that we had enjoyed watching for so long.
Do you suppose this is what it is like when God opens our hearts and lets His Light in? Suddenly God opens our eyes and minds and we begin to understand His Word. The many things that we had seen and heard before we suddenly see and hear much more clearly and they begin to finally make sense to us. May we never get to the point of not being amazed at the new sights and sounds of His Truth.
Posted by: sheshe | June 29, 2006 10:40 PM
Hi Tulip Girl,
I appreciate you sharing about the glasses. I had a similar experience when I got glasses... even though kids made fun of me for having them, once I got them and could see details I had never seen before, I didn't care that the kids on the bus or in the classroom chose to mock me. I could see.
You wrote: we do err and sometimes even sin against them in our ignorance.
Yes, we do. And what a wonderful opportunity it becomes to show the genuine seeking of forgiveness when we fail. Such times have even become opportunites to share the Gospel with them. I have found that my children are so quick to forgive... just as we adults should be.
Sheshe wrote, Do you suppose this is what it is like when God opens our hearts and lets His Light in?... The many things that we had seen and heard before we suddenly see and hear much more clearly and they begin to finally make sense to us.
EXACTLY.
Posted by: 4ever4given | June 30, 2006 07:50 AM