Driven by Chemistry or Character?

In Chapter 3 of John Ensor's Doing Things Right In Matters of the Heart he includes:

In the same way that hunger alone tells us nothing about eating nutritionally, our passions and urges do not teach us about loving well... "Desire without knowledge is not good." (Prov. 19:2)

He writes about our endless search for happiness and the fleeting and futile pursuits that we seek to attain that "happiness." Ensor emphasizes that "Loving God first as a matter of the heart puts all our other loves in their rightful place and in their rightful proportion. We pursue them not as we will but according to His Word..." He also points out something so incredibly important in this chapter to women... discretion.

The woman who lacks discretion is defenseless when it comes to fraudulent love. Sadly, the worst kind of man is often the best at seduction. They know what to say and are bold enough to say it. Godly men are often hesitant and halting. The predator flows with talk of love and oozes with sensuality. Predators are devious in that they appear to be conforming to your agenda, when they are merely wearing you down to the point where you conform to their agenda. They are there to conquer and consume. Sister, you'd better get discretion or buy Kleenex in bulk.

When I first met my husband in college I was introduced to him by mutual friends. I thought he was really handsome, but SO shy. The first thing that popped into my head was, "I would never marry this guy... he is way too shy." We dated for 2 years and it was certainly not a fairytale, but he is my hero and I hope my boys grow up to be just like him. As for my girls, the above excerpt sends me to my knees. God please protect them from those smooth-talking predators.

Now pop over to Girl Talk and get their take on this chapter HERE.

Crazy Me

Remember the article I recently wrote called Just ask... Don't Stare. Well, I am continually amazed at the boldness the Lord provides in such times. There was this beautiful woman at Wal-mart in the shampoo isle. She was in one of those motorized chairs that Wal-mart provides its shoppers who have various physical challenges. She had a cane hanging off the basket. She got herself up off the chair to get some shampoo and I noticed her gate. This was all so familiar... I have been there. The motorized chair. The cane. That familiar gate.
So I said gently with a smile, "Ma'am, you look exactly like I do when I am having an MS exacerbation."
Sure enough, it was MS.
Even though I couldn't believe I actually just said that to her out loud, I was once again blessed, SO blessed by this woman and the conversation we had.

Thank you Lord for such an unexpected gift.. for directing my footing to meet this woman. Thank you for giving me the boldness to say something... and not just stare and wonder.

Moral Condemnation??? Obscene???

The MSNBC article linked below starts out by revealing a story of a young woman who was raped. After examination, she requested the morning-after pill. The doctor said he could not do that because it was against his religion. My husband is a physician working at a Catholic hospital so this article struck home. Especially the list of states in which such an action by a physician to deny treatment due to moral or religious beliefs is considered legal. Our state is listed. The article likened this to "moral condemnation" in which one lawyer even claimed it to be "obscene." I beg to differ... even in the case of rape. Those physicians are thinking about not only the life in the womb of the mother, they are thinking of the well being of the mother. How can I say this? Because I know what a horrid experience it is to have an abortion...
Ronald Reagan published a booklet during an election year called "Abortion and the Conscience of a Nation."
This was considered political suicide... and yet, he was re-elected.
In this book, Reagan wrote, "We cannot diminish the value of one category of human life --the unborn-- without diminishing the value of all human life." Reagan also stated that abortion is the "greatest moral crisis facing our country today... it is not for us to decide who is worthy to live and who is not."

Catholic and conservative Christian health care providers are denying women a range of standard, legal medical care. Planned Parenthood M.D.s report patients coming to them because other gynecologists would not dole out birth control prescriptions or abortion referrals. Infertility clinics have turned away lesbians and unmarried women; anesthesiologists and obstetricians are refusing to do sterilizations; Catholic hospitals have delayed ending doomed pregnancies because abortions are only allowed to save the life of the mother. In a survey published this year in The New England Journal of Medicine, 63 percent of doctors said it is acceptable to tell patients they have moral objections to treatments, and 18 percent felt no obligation to refer patients elsewhere. And in a recent SELF.com poll, nearly 1 in 20 respondents said their doctors had refused to treat them for moral, ethical or religious reasons. "It's obscene," says Jamie D. Brooks, a former staff attorney for the National Health Law Program who continues to work on projects with the Los Angeles advocacy group. "Doctors swear an oath to serve their patients. But instead, they are allowing their religious beliefs to compromise patient care. And too often, the victims of this practice are women."

The state of doctor refusals

Physicians anywhere can deny you care. But some states back up M.D.s with specific laws allowing them to do so, says Elizabeth Nash, public policy associate at the Guttmacher Institute research group. Whose side is your state on?

States that allow doctors to refuse care

Contraception AR, CO, FL, IL, ME, MS, TN, WA
Abortion Every state has a law except AL, NH, VT, WV.
Sterilization AR, GA, ID, IL, KS, KY, MD, MA, MS, MT, NJ, PA, RI, WA, WV, WI...

Go to THIS LINK for the rest of the MSNBC article.

"...The Saviour is, by His Spirit, still on earth; let this truth encourage us. He is always in the midst of the fight... and as the conflict rages, what a sweet satisfaction it is to know that the Lord Jesus, in His office as our GREAT INTERCESSOR, is powerfully interceding for His people! O anxious gazer, do not look so much at the battle below, for there you will be enshrouded with smoke and amazed with garments rolled in blood. Instead, lift your eyes yonder where the Saviour lives and pleads, for while He intercedes, the cause of God is safe. LET US FIGHT AS THOUGH IT ALL DEPENDED ON US, BUT LET US LOOK UP AND KNOW THAT IT ALL DEPENDS ON HIM..."
--C. H. Spurgeon

There are people out there doing this now... They have rolled up their sleeves to fight, though enshrouded by smoke and garments covered in blood spilled by the innocent life of the unborn. They fight as though it really does all depend on them, yet they know they must look up to the One whom the innocent take refuge. I DO NOT CONDONE violent action against abortion clinics and doctors that perform abortions. What I do condone is GODLY ACTIVISTS. WE MUST reflect the COMPASSION of CHRIST on this issue when we fight for those babies' lives.

Things like premarital sex and pornography...

When it comes to matters of the heart, Ensor in chapter 2 gets right to the heart of the matter... and he rightfully does not hold back on the issues and consequences of that culturally acceptable, free-for-all mentality prevalent in our society when it comes to things like premarital sex and pornography.
Do you know the difference between what you truly want and what you are expected or tempted to want? This is a question for all of us. Men, women, singles, married, teens? Bottomline, if you think about it, no one truly wants a life of chaos. Not even an unbeliever.

Ensor writes, "When I was in high school, I remember going to a party with some friends. Everyone was shouting over the music, joking, and passing round cheap beer and jugs of even cheaper wine. It was foul stuff, so i guzzled it fast and asked for more. I drank up, passed out, woke up, and threw up. I remember asking myself, "Am I having fun yet?" ..."

In retrospect, he realized that the only reason he even partook of such an event boiled down to peer pressure.... he knew that to keep his friends meant liking things that he didn't really like; doing things that he knew he should not do. Funny thing... or should I say the sad thing is, that the illustration he provided above is about teen peer pressure; but as he illustrates later, you don't have to be a teen to get caught up in peer pressure or the pressure to do the wrong thing just to fit in or feel loved... accepted.
Back up... because he starts the chapter with the fact that "Not everyone wants to do things right in matters of the heart. Some simply want to do what they want to do, right or wrong."
He has a section within this chapter titled "A Self-Test for Women" where he quotes Wendy Shalit in her book, A Return to Modesty:

It is hard to separate what you really want from what you're supposed to want, but try this as a thought experiment. Women, when no one else is around, do you secretly long for a whole series of men; to arbitrarily marry one of them and have affairs, maybe not--to be cool and wait and see if anyone better comes along, and then divorce--or do you long for enduring love? [If it is enduring love... which, if you are honest with yourself, that is what you would pick], why do you allow your culture to shatter your hopes? Why is that you feel so dictated to, when you were supposed to be, above all, independent.

Pretend you are a counselor at a crisis pregnancy center. Two teen girls nervously walk in together wanting pregnancy tests. What would you say to them?
Ensor wrote that he whimsically asked them where those rascally men in their lives were. When I first read that I had to reread that section before I read further... then I said out loud, "OUCH!"
As I read on, his words made sense. These were two girls hurt, abandoned and confused. They weren't victims; they were coconspirators in their own destiny. They had learned from the culture how to dress and talk and put out. But it was supposed to lead somewhere other than to a pregnancy center, wasn't it? At least from a Glamour magazine's perspective.
He then asked, "How would you like me to tell you how to form a healthy, tender, passionate enduring, mutually satisfying relationship with a man?"
They were all ears.
Why? Because when you get to the heart of the matter, is their really anyone that does not long for that?
Think about it. Even the ZsaZsa Gabore's and Paris Hilton's and all those horney, sex-minded men out there that give this outward appearance of being those kinda people that just do what they want to do, right or wrong... even they long for that one true, enduring, passionate, mutually satisfying relationship.
God designed us that way.
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and HOLD FAST to his wife, and they shall become ONE FLESH." (Gen. 2:24)

You have to get this book to read the rest of the story. Now go pop over to Girl Talk for their post on week 2 of this book club on Ensor's book.

"Actually..."

One of my daughters brought me this piece of paper filled with her drawings and said, "I made this for you to give Daddy because you love him so much."

I'm so glad she knows that.

Later on we were sitting around the table fixing to eat lunch. We give all of the children an opportunity to pray. When it came time for my youngest to pray (she was the last one) she went on and on about all the things she is thankful for. It was very sweet. She then said. "Amen."
We all lifted our heads thinking it was time to eat. However, she then put her hands together, said "Actually...", as she once again bowed her head. We all once again bowed our heads as well... for she had many more things that she was thankful for that she had apparently forgotten to mention.

God, help me to pray like my children.

Precision, I say. Exactitudely. Such veridicality.

In response to a TeamPyro's questions HERE, a guy named Benjamin Nitu succinctly hits the nail on the head in my opinion.

@1. Who is Jesus -- that is, How does Jesus present Himself in Scripture? A pastor used to say that the less non-Christians know about Jesus, the more they love him, and the more they know about him, the more they hate him. That's one of the reason why "They like Jesus but not the church."
Jesus will never be your "cool dude", your motivational speaker, another good teacher among many. The more you know about Jesus, the more you realize that He wants it all: he wants not only your heart ,but also your mind and body.
A Jesus that ignores sin is not the Jesus of the Bible.

@2. What is a man's relationship with Jesus -- that is, what about man or about Jesus makes that relationship either appropriate or necessary? It is meaningless to tell people that Jesus saves without telling them from what. In the same way, it is meaningless to talk about a relationship with Jesus if sin is not relevant.

@3. When is the "right way" and the "right time" to tell a person about sin? Because sin is such an important issue, it should be dealt with as soon as possible. There is no "right time". As for the "right way": the Gospel will always be great news for some and horrible news for others.
Christ's claims are exclusive. His gospel is exclusive. He is The Way, not one of them.

...but that which cometh from God

My youngest daughter is very shy. We were welcoming a new neighbor the other day... this new neighbor began to talk to my daughter and my daughter's way of "coping" with people talking to her is to say "I love my momma" as she squeezes my leg.
The young lady asked sweetly, "And why do you love your mommy?"
My daughter responded without hesitation, "Because my momma loves me."
She had never been asked that question before so it was interesting to hear her response. For some reason it made me think of: "We love him, because he first loved us."—1 John 4:19.
So if someone asked me why I loved the Lord would I respond without hesitation, "Because He first loved me?"

There is no light in the planet but that which cometh from the sun; there is no light in the moon but that which is borrowed, and there is no true love in the heart but that which cometh from God. -Spurgeon

OH STOP your whining!!!

Go buy yourself one of THESE and then read:

As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, go out and do it. As soon as you feel critical, say something kind in a kindly way. As soon as you feel neglected, send a cheerful note to a friend.
~ Oliver Wilson

(There are more excellent quotes over at Kevin's.)

...and by the way, when I wrote OH STOP your whining!!! I was talkin' to myself... again.

I am in a Mutually Satisfying Love Affair

...with my husband. Really, I am.

And this is the beginning of my input on the first chapter of John Ensor's book, Doing Things Right in Matter's of the Heart.
Yep. It's book club time with Girl Talk.

Ensor starts out strong. No beating around the bush. He just dives right in with the truth we all need to hear... and pursue. He even quotes Mahaney from that fabulous book about humility: "I'm a proud man pursuing humility by the grace of God."

We are all proud people. According to this chapter, it is called the error of self-confidence.

It is one thing to act foolishly--to be a simpleton--when buying a used car. It is another when it comes to matters of the heart. The stakes are infinitely higher. Failure here means weeping into tear-stained pillows through sleepless nights. It means hot flashes of shame. It means spiritual incapacitation when it comes to things like prayer and worship... it has dragged too many off to Planned Parenthood with an innocent in the womb...

...It is time to revolt against the times... to learn how to spot fraud in matters of the heart, and to enter into a relationship as one "who gives thought to his steps" (Prov. 14:15).

Whew! See what I mean? And that is only the tip of the iceburg of straightforward wisdom pouring out of this 160 page book. It's really not too late to get one and participate in the book club.

So, why did I mention I was in a mutually satisfying love affair with my husband? Because Ensor has a section within this chapter where he mentions a staff member that introduced her husband as Mr. Wonderful and then rattled off a few of the things he did to make her so fulfilled and happy. Essentially she was simply enjoying the love of a good man and saying it as if it were as normal as iced tea in August. Sadly to Ensor and everyone else, I'm sure, it sounded radical--winsomely radical.
It isn't that these people are not full of human frailty as Ensor points out. It is just that they are reaping the wonderful benefits of a healthy, enduring, mutually satisfying love affair with one another.

Honestly, the first seven years of my marriage was hell. A hell that I made for myself in which I would easily involve myself in conversation with others who would sit around talking about all the things their spouses did wrong. You know, that human frailty factor just makes for flesh-appealing gossip. But then the Lord, and it really is His work alone that transformed my life, my marriage, into something unexpectedly beautiful and satisfying, gave me this LOVE for my husband that I had never had before. So deep and sweet. A love that caused me to see all those things about Him that reflect Christ. A love that caused me to find him irresistibly attractive. Oh, and a love that really does cover a multitude of sins when it comes to marriage. Not to the point of delusional denial of ongoing sin that needs to be confronted. No. It is the mindset love that focuses NOT on those annoying human frailty sins, but on what made me fall in love with the guy in the first place and the things he does now that make me fall in love with him even more. LOVE HAS TO cover a multitude of sins when it comes to marriage or you will be miserable. Though I do believe my husband got the short end of the stick. :-D

Now go read this hilariously sad, sometimes scarily true article about the lunatic bride. It will entertain you in a freakishly funny way.

And make sure you watch this video "I Want to Leave a Legacy"... I found it on No Shadow of Turning who found it on a young ladies blog that writes thought-provoking articles on her life with cancer and a longing to leave a legacy of Christ... Meet Heather and be blessed.

What might I look like...

...If I were stuck on a deserted island?
Let's see...
*I would have no shampoo or conditioner, curling or straightening iron, so my hair would look fluffy/ frizzy... scary.
**I wouldn't be able to get my hair cut or foiled/ dyed.... so it would be long(er)... and my gray that I was told by my hairdresser was actually there, would show. *gasp*
***I would have dirty nails, no make-up, and very chapped lips.
****Bushy eyebrows and hairy legs.
*****No... ummm... deodorant.... or soap.
******No delusional anti-aging moisturizers to rid me of fine lines and wrinkles.
*******No Twix bars or Venti Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Aaaahhhh.

Yep. I'm thinkin' about routine maintenance. It is what women do so that we don't end up looking like someone who doesn't care whether or not her husband finds her attractive. Of course, if I am stuck on a deserted island by myself, would I care? Would I consume my time fretting over my outward appearance? Not likely. Do I want to sound all spiritual now and tell you that I hope I would consume all that time with my Lord? Praying, singing praise songs? Trying to recall memorized Scripture as I build a makeshift shelter and eat whatever I can find to keep from starving? God-willing that IS what I would hope I would do.

Do I want to sound all Spiritual and tell you how much I sincerely long to be consumed more-so with my Lord now?

Yep.

And now for some Totally Random Thoughts:

There really is no point in making pie crust from scratch. Especially when you are in a hurry. Not worth it.

Oh... and there really are no secrets. None. Really. Zip. Zero.
... scary, huh?

Well praise God for His abundant mercy and totally undeserved grace. ... all day, everyday.

Seriously.