Above is a pic of my youngest daughter and me.
My Husband, My brother in Christ
Distracting Hidden Challenges
This past week I was so blessed to be able to teach 2nd grade boys at a camp. I got to hang out with K thru 2nd graders, my older boys that were helpers, and I met some pretty incredible adults. I had WAY more fun than I anticipated... and yes, I am exhausted.
There was a little girl there with spina bifida that was a HUGE inspiration to me. During the singing, that little girl fought to stand on her own with a smile on her face. She did all the hand motions. Sometimes she would have to grab the compassionate and willing girls on either side of her to keep from falling over. Sometimes she would fall over and just get right back up... still smiling. She was my hero this week and she left an indelible picture of endurance and a joy in spite of her circumstances. She seemed to embrace every moment.
This post is leading up to the fact that I have to go in on Monday at noon to get my annual MRI.
I can't help but think that this past week was preparation for having to sit in that claustrophobia-inducing chamber. Perhaps as I am confined in that little coffin-like space I can reflect not only on the Scripture that is included on the bottom of this post, but on that little girl.
Knowing that the MRI was coming up contributed to my longing to smell those roses my children pick for me... to be silly with them and enjoy every moment with them. I will never be ashamed of laughing with my children and jumping in mud puddles with them. Life is too short.
I do not know what to expect. Though I pray the brain lesions have miraculously disappeared, all I want is to be used by God no matter what... to do His will for His glory even if it means having MS. The last time the neurologist read my MRI she graciously told me to prepare for a wheelchair due to the rate of growth, size and location of the lesions. I am still walking and I do believe the Rebif injections are helping... but there are those distracting, hidden physical challenges that seem to serve as a reminder that my strength is in the Lord alone.
Here is the MRI image from last year:
"...be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." -Ephesians 5:15-17
Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit." Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that." -James 4:13-15
Father God, give me the joy that little girl with spina bifida showed me this week. Provide the strength I need to just get right back up when I fall over... with a smile on my face, just like that little girl."In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ;"-1 Peter 1:6, 7
Thank you for healing my soul by providing Your Son to suffer on the cross for my sins. Please heal my body, Lord... but then, not my will but Thine be done. My hope and joy is in You, for You not only sent Your Son to die, but He rose again. This is all so difficult for me to comprehend... mere words cannot express my deep (but deficient) gratitude for who You are and all that You have done for sinners such as I.
I am ashamed that I am so nervous about the MRI. Please forgive me and please help me to trust in You and rest in Your faithfulness... Your will, not mine.
Comments
I'm praying for you, Lisa.
Posted by: Rebekah | July 21, 2007 08:30 AM
Thank you Rebekah. That means alot to me.
Posted by: lisa | July 21, 2007 01:13 PM
Will be praying for you to have God's comfort during the MRI and as you wait to hear of the results. Those long, noisy, boring MRI's are such a wonderful time to pray and praise the Lord, aren't they?
Ha! I don't have to have them any more!! Well, I can't have them any more, actually. Something about having metal in my head - they don't want me around huge magnets... ;-)
Will you get the results tomorrow? Please let me know how it goes. And remember, God can use you standing OR sitting!
Love you, friend.
Ramona
Posted by: sheshe | July 22, 2007 02:05 PM
I got to take home a CD with my brain on it last year. My husband downloaded it onto our computer. Not my brain... just the MRI images :-D
I got the results immediately from my husband. We looked at each layer. It was interesting up to the point that I saw that rather large lesion and thought I had brain cancer. That's when I started crying. My husband... he was a rock and explained to me that it was large because it was indicating the exacerbation I was in the midst of.
Tomorrow they want to include an MRI of my spine.
I'll let ya know the results as soon as I get them.
I do so covet your prayers Ramona (sheshe).
Lisa
Posted by: lisa | July 22, 2007 04:23 PM
Lisa, I just realized that today is Monday and you are having your MRI. My prayers are with you. I pray you wont be nervous, your body belongs to the Lord and He has you in the palm of His hand. God be with you!
Posted by: Rachael | July 23, 2007 05:05 PM
Thank you Rachael. Being someone that has MS like I do, I am honored by the fact that you are praying for me.
The MRI took 45 minutes... of not moving even though I just drank a caffeinated drink resulting in a very full bladder and lots of "energy". But then the Lord, as much as I wanted to jump out of there, made it a time of prayer and reflecting on what a merciful God He is.
Posted by: lisa | July 24, 2007 09:34 AM