Above is a pic of my youngest daughter and me.
My Husband, My brother in Christ
I Once Was Blind...
But now I see. But then even now, though I may see, I see through a glass dimly.
I did not mention when I allowed you an MRI glimpse into my brain that apparently I have lesions on my occipital lobe.
Am I looking at going blind?
Though I woke up this morning with blind spots that won't go away and cannot fathom not being able to see at all... will I get to see the faces of my children as they grow, the sunrise or set with my husband?
(UPDATE: blind spots have changed into very blurry or foggy vision. Especially in my left eye.)
"Hold Thou my Hand." says Fanny Crosby, "Hubert P. Main wrote the music for this hymn. For days before I wrote it, all had seemed dark to me. This was an unusual experience, for I have always been most cheerful; and so, in my human weakness, I cried in prayer. 'Dear Lord, hold Thou my hand!' Almost at once sweet peace returned to my heart, and my gratitude for answered prayer sang itself in the lines of my hymn":
"Hold Thou my hand,
so weak I am and helpless
I dare not take one step without Thy aid;
Hold Thou my hand, for then,
O loving Saviour,
No dread of ill shall make my soul afraid."
"...for we walk by faith, not by sight."
"...we look not at the things which are seen,
but at the things which are not seen;
for the things which are seen are temporal,
but the things which are not seen are eternal."
The above is a well done and brief video that explains what MS is.
Comments
Lisa,
I am so sorry. May God give you grace through this trial.
Please know your posts have been such an encouragment to me and often point me to the Lord. Thank you.
Posted by: April @ For His Glory and My Good | August 10, 2007 01:59 PM
Lisa, may God give you peace that passes understanding. MS is a hideous disease that robs independence from you but God is so much bigger. I will absolutly continue to pray for you, thank you for sharing this scary part of your daily life.
Posted by: Rachael | August 10, 2007 05:40 PM
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement April and Rachael.
It is probably a good thing that my independence is being stripped away. I am quite a stubborn and prideful stinker sometimes.
Posted by: lisa | August 11, 2007 07:23 AM
Lisa, could this be a case of Optic Neuritis starting? Please be sure to check with your neurologist on Monday, as they can treat that, right?
On the spiritual side, I know that God will teach you many things through this challenge, whether this continues to progress or not. It may be that He has "gotten your attention" once again, or He may have a whole new direction for your life to go in. I pray that you will be eager to learn the lessons He has for you along this way, whatever they are.
Posted by: sheshe | August 11, 2007 04:51 PM
Sheshe,
This does seem like optic neuritis which appears to happen to over 50% of those with MS. Sometimes it can cause complete or partial loss of vision. Sometimes it is temporary... sometimes permanent.
Major symptoms are sudden loss of vision (partial or complete), or sudden blurred or "foggy" vision, and pain on movement...20% of the time optic neuritis is the presenting sign of MS
My presenting signs were actually double vision, coordination and balance problems, numbness with muscle spasms and severe vertigo back in 1999.
IV methylprednisolone is usually the prescribed method of treatment... which comes with its own set of issues and side effects and no guarantee that it will work.
However, thus far, each time I have been told to prepare for the possibility that this or that may be permanent, it has thankfully not been so.
Times like this do reveal much about my pride issues. ugh. That pride... it is such an ugly thing I like to hold on to.
Posted by: lisa | August 11, 2007 06:39 PM
I'm praying for you, dear sister, that this is only temporary. You're in the hands of the Almighty!
(((hugs)))
Posted by: jen elslager | August 12, 2007 09:37 PM
Hey, girl! I tried to leave a comment earlier, but my computer went wonky and shut down my browser, so I don't know if it took. I just wanted to tell you I'm praying for you that this is temporary. Rest in the arms of the Almighty, sis.
(((hugs)))
Posted by: jen elslager | August 12, 2007 11:04 PM
Thank you, Jen. I needed that (((hug)))
Posted by: lisa | August 12, 2007 11:57 PM
Praying for you!
Posted by: Carla Stream | August 13, 2007 08:52 AM
Just found your blog when I was googling for other Christian bloggers with MS. So sorry to hear about your vision problems but I appreciate your perspective. Hugs and prayers to you, sister!
Posted by: Faith | August 17, 2007 01:07 AM
Thank you Faith. I appreciate the ((hug)) and your prayers! Please consider e-mailing me sometime. :-)
lisa4given@hotmail.com
Posted by: lisa | August 18, 2007 09:31 AM