Above is a pic of my youngest daughter and me.
My Husband, My brother in Christ
Oh YUCK!!!
I find that God sometimes employs very creative ways of getting my attention. Here is one such example:
Yesterday I could not find my phone so I asked my 14 year old to use his phone to call my phone so I would have a better chance of finding it. It was freezing outside, so I simultaneously asked him to also start the van to get it warmed up. Uh oh!!! Never ask a male teenager to multi-task. What was I thinking?
I got in the freezing van that he forgot to start not realizing he was calling my phone that I still could not locate. He ended up leaving a very long message on my phone because I distracted him with my griping. Yep! The message on my cell phone that I got to listen to, after I finally found it, was me griping at my son.
Oh brother! Is that what my son hears? Is that what I sound like? YUCK!!!!
When I picked the kids up from school, I took my older boys aside and told them that I got to listen to myself. I apologized for my hateful sounding words. That's right. Hateful. And I HAD NO IDEA that I sounded like that.
I was thinking, "Oh, they'll hug me and maybe say something like, 'It's okay mom, we still love you' or 'we forgive you.' or maybe even say they didn't notice or that it wasn't that bad."
Ummmm..... no.
My oldest son says, "Well yes, and you didn't even get to hear yourself at full volume."
Then we all burst out laughing as my heart sunk to my stomach. I hugged them and sincerely apologized.
Ugh.
See what I mean about God being creative about getting my attention?
When I was listening to this horrid message... and it was l-o-n-g!... I kept wanting to hang up. I couldn't take myself anymore. BLEH. But then James 1:23-26 came to mind. A necessary conviction overwhelmed me. I forced myself to listen. Why? Because what spewed from my mouth into the ears of my son was reprehensible. No, I did not cuss or call him names. But the tone. It was the tone. My tone was like poison. I want to be a blessing to my children... even when they need to be confronted. I had to listen to the whole message so that it would sink in... so that I could genuinely repent. This was God's way of providing me with a clear and abiding sense upon [my] mind and conscience of the guilt, danger, and evil of [my] sin. Now go read THIS. It is really good.
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. Proverbs 15:27-29
Comments
Been there; done that.
Thank you for your transparency and your tender heart.
Posted by: jen elslager | January 25, 2008 12:37 PM
I got a huge lump in my throat reading this. I am so guilty of speaking the same way to my kids when I am frustrated. May God forgive me and help me! Thank you for sharing this convicting word today. I'm going to read the link you provided now.
Posted by: Rebekah | January 25, 2008 01:40 PM
The Lord was doin' a little heart shapin'. What a blessing to have our heart worked on by the Holy Spirit, even when it's through our children.
You're a humble servant, and that was a great testimony of God's grace in your life.
Keep on.
Posted by: donsands | January 25, 2008 04:58 PM
That very well could be me...I have to be very careful that my tone is sweet and gentle...but I sometimes forget and sound awful, I'm sure...I know what you mean...it is not the words I am using, but the tone!
Posted by: Kim | January 25, 2008 11:04 PM
Lisa, I had something VERY similar happen a few years back! I will send you a copy of an article I wrote about it via email.
Posted by: sheshe | January 28, 2008 06:24 PM